Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
