Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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