You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
