so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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