guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
