This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
