If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
