CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
