well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
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She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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