You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
