Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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