Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
