I need help removing her.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
