youre lurking in front of me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize