The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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