Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How's work?
Spinning.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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