so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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