wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
