Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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