People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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