I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
