Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
