I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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