I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
