Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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