What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
