we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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