I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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