And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
