he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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