The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
