We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
