I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize