I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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