this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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