why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
