make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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