I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
