Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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