Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
try to milk me bitch
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