This is not my ceiling
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
