not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The adults are the big ones right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
