oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
