Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
