One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my phone needs a breathalizer
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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