Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize