farters have to be the big spoon...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
