I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
