he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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