We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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