I wanna passion pit in your ass
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
