yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize