I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Little spoons don't ask big questions
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I will pee on everything he values.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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