Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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