My brain says no but my pants say off.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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