if you like me you must not know who I am
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
