so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Enjoy the penises
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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