Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Someone signed my nipple.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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