Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
