you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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