coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
my poor anus
I could fuck to npr.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize