Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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