Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My dick has a subreddit
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
